I hit a plot hole. A big one.

 

Here’s what happened. In chapter 24, Kelsey meets with leaders of River’s Bend, PA, this rural town I dreamt up north of Scranton and west of Carbondale, way out in the country. Town of 2000. Similar to Newville, where I taught for 28 years. The problem is that the bad guy, Rivers, doesn’t seem to have any money. Where will he get the funds to finance building a casino? Let alone the world’s largest casino?.

 

The grouchy old woman from the beginning of Act II is there. Her forefathers founded Rivers Bend in the late 1700s. She says, did you forget about Rivers’ first wife. Long story short, Rivers has stashed millions in his granddaughter’s saving account.

 

I put this scene in because I wanted some sort of a group to fight along with Kelsey. Assemble your team. Act 3, Save the Cat!


From the start, there were problems with this scene. First of all, the team would go on to do nothing. None of them would appear again in the novel. I recognized that issue before I got to revising it. Then, as I revised, I realized that Rivers would have accumulated a shitload of money. He’s syphoning off cash from the school district, he has local educators “investing” money in his casino, and then there’s Bourne Enterprises. On paper he’s just a board member, but in reality he receives all the money the real estate agency brings in.

 

I looked up what it cost to launch WinStar casino, the world’s largest casino down in the southern part of Oklahoma, run by the Chickasaw Native American Nation. It was like 125 million. That figure may be smaller than it really was—do you trust anything you read on the internet? Then looked up what kind of money local real estate agencies were bringing in. Hundreds of millions every year! Therefore, Rivers has plenty of money. So much money that he wouldn’t be able to hide it in a granddaughter’s savings account. Someone would know.

 

I reread the scene a few times. It was like holding a sand castle in my hands.  

And, at this point in the novel, developments are happening every day. A few a day. Popping this scene out messes with the opening of the scene, where we meet Izzy for the first time. Minty’s wife. And it makes the scenes that come after it rushed.

 

In short, excising it from the novel literally leaves a hole in the narrative.

 

Yesterday I reread the scene a few more times. Then I gave up on it. I moved on to playing my guitar. This scene couldn’t be saved. What would replace it? I worked my frustration into my versions of John Lee Hooker’s “Boom Boom,” and Chuck Berry’s “No Particular Place to Go.”

 

This morning I printed out the one-sentence summaries of the unworkable scene and the scenes around it. It looked like this:  

 

Kelsey hiding out at Izzy's. Kelsey meets with RB people who want to save town. Mrs. Cunningham reappears. Rivers'money is hidden in granddaughter's account

Another notice. Kelsey talks to RBers while putting up notices. Dad's guarding the apartment. They all tell her that Rivers would never do that.

M convinces Kelsey to stop Rivers by Democratic process. Kelsey insists that it be done right. Rivers appears unexpectedly. (Kelsey has a meltdown with M in truck--CHANGE?)

Zeke POV beating the hell out of M. Probably need to cut. YEP

Kelsey drives to hospital to see M. Talks to Mike Moss. Moss says he was wrong about the democratic way. Kelsey says that has to be the way. Moss calls Rivers. Rivers agrees to debate Kelsey

Kelsey puts out an edition of the Sentinel-OBSERVER. Mike writes about M's condition

 

The problem scene’s in orange.

 

Then, I started brainstorming. Whatever I came up with to fill the hole, it would have to be more suspenseful than the scene I was replacing. If I could avoid it, I’d not bring in any more characters. At this point in the book, Kelsey already has a team: M, Mr. Moss the town paper publisher, and her parents. One more will join her team, but Kelsey doesn’t know it yet.

 

As of Saturday 11:16 am, here’s where I’m at.

 

Notices and want ads by Kelsey

Rivers is retiring early. He's holding a meeting in the school auditorium. Kelsey and M text

Rivers reveals housing development plan. Kelsey sneaks in auditorium, accuses Rivers of murder

Kelsey hiding out at Izzy's. M picks her up. How about m picks up Kelsey at Izzy’s, takes her to meeting with Rivers and Mayor at Mike’s, Kelsey hides and listens in, meanwhile M is assaulted outside.

Dad's guarding the apartment. While Dad is asleep out in front of his apartment with his gun, Zeke takes a shot at him as Zeke drives by

Kelsey drives to hospital to see M. Talks to Mike Moss. Kelsey convinces M to stop Rivers by Democratic process. M wants to kill him. Kelsey insists that it be done right.

Mr. Moss won’t leave M. Kelsey puts out tomorrow’s edition of Sentinel-Observer.

Moss calls Rivers. Rivers doesn’t want to debate Kelsey. Doesn’t think anyone will come to hear it.

Kelsey talks to RBers while putting up notices. They all tell her that Rivers would never destroy their town and put up a casino. In the past, Rivers has helped Benders.

People begin to protest.

Rivers agrees to debate Kelsey

Dad and Mom drive Kelsey from Izzy's condo to auditorium. They argue about Dad bringing in his gun to the debate.

Zeke knocks out Kelsey

 

Other Brainstorms:

  1. Kelsey breaks into rivers’ house. Finds list of people he wants to kill
  2. Tyne finds list of people to kill on Rivers’ computer? School computer? Finds it while at his house. Emails it to Kelsey
  3. Kelsey listening in at Moss’s office while Rivers talks to Moss? To Mayor?

 

That’s where I’m at. Am I satisfied? No. I will take a break from the story during this afternoon. Then come back to it tomorrow morning. As I mentioned, I’m a big believer in letting my subconscious work while I do other things.

 

By tomorrow, I will have a workaround for this scene.

 

Also. I’ve decided I’m not going to worry about my schedule as much. I’ve put too much work into this book to rush it now. Instead, I’ll baby it. Whatever you want, little novel. I’ll take care of each and every one of your little problems … (grrr)

 

 

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