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    Last Friday I read Act 3. Today I reread it, and summarized each scene in a sentence or two.

    Totally different reactions.

    Last Friday I felt like, “not that much happens,” and “I’m underwhelmed.” I was hoping that my writing and plotting would impress me. It didn’t. As you might expect, I had thoughts over the weekend about whether I could salvage the novel, or if this 3-year-project would remain just a writing exercise and something to move on from. If I’m not wild about the story, who will be?

    Today I finished the act feeling that some of scenes were pretty good. Some of Act 3 just needs to be “tweaked,” as my writer friend, Dean, often says. No scene needs to be tossed completely.

    However, a good action scene, where the character M is badly beaten up, needs to be rewritten from Kelsey’s point of view, and there’s no way she can witness the beating. Kelsey will go to the hospital to see M, and M’s father will tell what happened to M. Perhaps me recasting this scene is for the best.

    I feel like I’m trying to say something with this novel, particularly about Kelsey. But I don’t know what I’m trying to say, though I’m sure I haven’t said it yet. My hope is that I will discover what this message is as I finish up the second draft. Is it a truth about 18-year-old women? About rural life? About truth and lies? I wish I knew.

    I know that I haven’t done enough work on backstory in this novel, and that has been bugging the hell out of me for the past month. As of today, I have no idea yet about Kelsey’s growing up, and I have some dim thoughts about Dr. Rivers and how he got to where he is. I like the idea that Rivers’ grandfather was wronged by River’s Bend in some manner decades ago. Rivers feels a mixture of wanting to get revenge and boosting River’s Bend’s position in the world. So, he decides that River’s Bend will be reborn as the biggest casino in the world. It literally will replace River’s Bend, the town. What exactly could have happened years ago that would make a man do that? I’ll think about that now and then formally address it when draft 2 is done (mid-June).

    I’ll wrap up today by writing that Act 3 feels like it has potential to be “big” in the sense that Donald Maass writes about it. It may be that I can’t make it the way I’d like it to feel until I have a better handle on my own manuscript. Until I know it better and understand it better.

    Sheesh!

    I wonder if Homer, as he walked from city-state to city-state, or wherever he walked, felt this way about the Odyssey? What a plight to be in, not to understand your own writing until you’re so many drafts in, or, in my case, so many years into it.

    Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll sleep on it tonight. Then I’ll reread my summaries of each scene. Then I’ll sit and think about whether the book is satisfying to me or not.

    I just looked up a number of quotes about writing to please oneself. This one from O. Henry is as good as any other:

    “I'll give you the whole secret to short story writing. Here it is. Rule 1: Write stories that please yourself.

    “There is no Rule 2.”